Craig Reptile: Your Sunday Sonic Sundowner writesTop Five Special: Fictional Guided by Voices Song Titles

Even though Guided By Voices broke up (again) over a year ago, that hasn’t stopped veteran frontman Robert Pollard from releasing new music. This year has seen the release of his 21st solo album and new music from two of his sixteen “side projects,” Circus Devils’ Stomping Grounds and three full-length records from Ricked Wicky.

This week marks the release of Suitcase 4: Captain Kangaroo Won The War, a four CD collection of 100 previously unreleased tracks, including rarities, alternate versions, outtakes and discards including classics like "Postal Blowfish," "Goldheart Mountaintop Queen Directory," "Motor Away," "Hardcore UFOs," "Echos Myron," "Tractor Rape Chain" and "Queen Of Cans And Jars." Also included are demos from Pollard’s next solo album, due in 2016.

If it’s anything like the Suitcase 1-3 releases, each track will be credited to a different fake band name (he hasn’t used Sergeant Sebaceous and His Cysts yet, but here’s hoping), and if you’re wondering how you can fit 100 song titles and band names on a CD, never fear-- it comes with a custom magnifying glass to assist with your reading.

Although it’s a safe bet that Robert Pollard will never run out of songs-- he has over 1,700 songs registered through BMI—we’re concerned that he might run out of quirky song titles, so herewith is a collection of 25 suggestions (none of which were created using the GBV Song Title Generator), drawn freely from internet sources, fellow GBV fiends and the deranged mind of the author, who hopes one day to be Bob in a Guided By Voices tribute band. Who wants to be my Tobin Sprout?

1. "Comet Lander Wakes Up"

2. "Flaneuric Drifting"

3. "These Bees Have the Cleanest Knees"

4. "Combine Sprocket Sex"

5. "Bronze Livered Crater King Map"

6. "Voted Most Unlikely To Be a Student Affairs Specialist"

7. "The Measure of a Wombat's Happiness"

8. "Food Safety’s Huge Cannon"

9. "Active Vagrant Mercy Child"

10. "Ray Van Rivers Fever"

11. "Massive Disco Dunce"

12. "Uncle Lucas! Unclean! Nuclear! Cunt! Uncle Lucas!"

13. "Half-Price Wine On Snake Nights"

14. "Glitzy Salon of the Tantric Tantrum"

15. "Clay! Said the Giddy Civil Engineer. No Sandy Loam Here."

16. "The Sensity of Dendritic Arbors"

17. "Uncle Bob Attends Theater of The Living"

18. "Eyeless, Compact Yeti Crab"

19. "A Fern For Beavis"

20. "Red Spotted Oak Mite Face"

21. "Confused Flour Beetle Care and Culturing"

22. "Chronicles of Martians Crying Crocodile Tears"

23. "Sir Thomas and the Robust Flush"

24. "Breaking a Leg at Lizard’s Liquid Lounge"

25. "Dynamic Alveolar Heterogeneity"

What song titles do you think Robert Pollard should use next?

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