Tyler Clark presents: Local Mythologies writesCHIRP Battle of the Bands 2015: Round One, Part Two

Welcome to the part two of the opening round of the 2015 CHIRP Battle of the Bands. For an explanation about the project and methodology, or to see part one, click here. Voting for Round One closes at 6pm on Tuesday, March 17, so be a good Chicagoan and vote early and often.

The Mavis Regional

#1 Seed: Mavis Staples
First Round Song: "I'll Take You There"
Why She Should Win: The only artist in this tournament to have, and deserve, her own throne.
Why She Might Lose: [This space left intentionally blank]

#8 Seed: Flesh Panthers
First Round Song: "Hard Milk"
Why They Should Win: Their name sounds like one of the tougher gangs from The Warriors.
Why They Might Lose: Voters upset by the mental image conjured by the phrase "hard milk"

#4 Seed: Mucca Pazza
First Round Song: "Boss Taurus"
Why They Should Win: There's like, 80 of them, so they have the quantity vote locked up.
Why They Might Lose: Freak sousaphone accident.

#5 Seed: Kelly Hogan
First Round Song: "We Can't Have Nice Things"
Why She Should Win: In addition to putting out great country-fried tunes, Hogan also does a mean Chewbacca impersonation.
Why She Might Lose: Beating an individual is one thing; beating an entire marching band is quite another.
 

#3 Seed: The Orwells
First Round Song: "Dirty Sheets"
Why They Should Win: In a sonic arms race with Twin Peaks for Chicago's best rock band, which benefits all of us.
Why They Might Lose: Chance they've grown fat and complacent on all of their Apple money.

#6 Seed: Owls
First Round Song: "I'm Surprised..."
Why They Should Win: Powered by emo bonafides, years on the road, and an inexhaustible supply of Kinsellas.
Why They Might Lose: In the time it's taken to write this post, the Kinsellas have started three new bands.
 

#2 Seed: Lupe Fiasco 
First Round Song: "Kick, Push"
Why He Should Win: Always says what he thinks, even at the President's party.
Why He Might Lose: Latest album loosely inspired by Akira villain Tetsuo Shima, and we all know what happened to him.

#7 Seed: Willis Earl Beal
First Round Song: "Too Dry to Cry"
Why He Should Win: Earned a cult following by scattering CD-Rs around public places in Albuquerque.
Why He Might Lose: Despite best efforts, the nickname "Johnny Recordseed" never caught on.
 

The Pumpkins Regional

#1 Seed: Smashing Pumpkins
First Round Song: "Bullet With Butterfly Wings"
Why They Should Win: Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness: getting drama club kids laid since 1995.
Why They Might Lose: Billy Corgan distracted by work on new 13-hour performance piece on Andre the Giant.

#8 Seed: Bare Mutants
First Round Song: "Crying with Bob"
Why They Should Win: Having never seen them live, I just imagine they all look like the Toxic Avenger, which is a neat image.
Why They Might Lose: They probably don't really look like that.
 

#4 Seed: How to Dress Well
First Round Song: "& It Was U"
Why He Should Win: Music's so good, it transcends the requirements of standard spelling and punctuation.
Why He Might Lose: Despite the name, doesn't offer much in the way of fashion tips.

#5 Seed: Psalm One/Hologram Kizzie
First Round Song: "Need Love Too"
Why She Should Win: Dual personas make her one-woman tag team.
Why She Might Lose: Too busy conquering SXSW.
 

#3 Seed: Twin Peaks
First Round Song: "I Found A New Way"
Why They Should Win: Singer-guitarist Cadien James played PItchfork last summer with a broken leg.
Why They Might Lose: Manager revealed to be the Log Lady (I've never seen Twin Peaks, but I'm confident this reference is funny.)

#6 Seed: The Tossers
First Round Song: "Siobhan"
Why They Should Win: It's almost St. Patrick's Day, which means the city's approaching Peak Irish.
Why They Might Lose: It's almost St. Patrick's Day, which means you're already tired of any music remotely resembling "Shipping Up to Boston"
 

#2 Seed: Chance the Rapper
First Round Song: "Good Ass Intro"
Why He Should Win: Will have put out the decade's best mixtape (so far) and headlined Pitchfork before he's old enough to rent a car.
Why He Might Lose: Youthful genius a grim reminder of own compromised dreams and unreached potential.

#7 Seed: Advance Base
First Round Song: "Summer Music"
Why He Should Win: Former owner of the twee-est band name ever recorded anywhere ever.
Why He Might Lose: Winter's almost over, which means his sadness magicks have entered their annual wane.
 

To return to part one, click here.

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